Top 5 Players in NBA Jam Tournament Edition

Of all the issues we address in our daily lives, I think this one touches us in the most profound ways.  Every day, people wonder to themselves:

Who are the top 5 players in NBA Jam: Tournament Edition?

THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT.

5. Karl Malone (Utah Jazz) – A fairly prototypical big man with non-terrible three-point shooting.  He and John Stockton form possibly the most complimentary duo in the game.  The Jazz were my favorite team in the 1990s.  In the 2000s, my favorite teams were the Mavericks and the Suns.  Apparently I like small, white All-Star point guards who don’t win championships.

4. Larry Johnson (Charlotte Hornets) – Almost identical to Malone except for slightly better speed and three-point shooting.  Malone has the edge in clutch and pass, but three-point shooting is a lot more valuable, so thats why Johnson is on top.

3. Nick Anderson (Orlando Magic) – There are a few three-point shooters in the game with a rating of 9, but most of them either lack secondary skills or are short, which is much, much worse.  Anderson brings a well rounded set of other skills though, including very good steal ability and decent shot-blocking and power.  That he’s not even a starter in NBA Jam TE is surprising, as he’s better than both teammates Horace Grant and Penny Hardaway.

2. Derrick Coleman (New Jersey Nets) – The only player on the list with a red stat (less than or equal to 2).   Coleman is sort of the reverse of Nick Anderson: poor steal ability, but with a very good three-point shot and fantastic power and block.

1. Alonzo Mourning (Charlotte Hornets) – Damn, the Hornets are great in NBA Jam.  Sure, Muggsy Bogues isn’t that great, but with Mourning and Johnson’s great power, they’re hard to knock off the court.  Mourning is basically Johnson, but a little bit better in a few areas, most importantly, block and clutch.  While I was considering putting Coleman in this spot due to his better three-point shot, I think Mourning is more well-rounded.

Olmec?

BONUS - Worst player in NBA Jam (normal rosters only): Kevin Edwards (New Jersey Nets) – Edwards lacks any real plus skills except for power, which is strange considering he’s small.  His height in itself is extremely detrimental, but coupling that with the fact that the Nets already have another small guy, Kenny Anderson, yields a lame combination.  Anderson at least has decent small player skills (threes mainly), but playing both Anderson and Edwards is basically conceding the glass and any suggestion of shot-blocking.  I’m not sure what you’re supposed to do with a small guy who can’t shoot threes, pass, or play defense and for that, Kevin Edwards is the worst player in NBA Jam TE.

DOUBLE BONUS – Oliver Miller’s portrait is creepy.  It looks like his head was chiseled by Mayans or something.

Arbitrary song of the day: Final Fantasy – The Butcher

You! Me! Dancing! redux

See here for my thoughts on the EP version of “You! Me! Dancing!”.

I took a listen to the album version of “You! Me! Dancing!” – and, wow, it’s completely stripped of everything I enjoyed about it.  The energy of the guitar riff is stripped off and replaced with a more of a forgettable drone.  The tempo throughout is slowed and just absolutely destroys all of the joy in it.  The fun Baroque pop-ness is replaced with sludge, as even the band seems unenthused in this rework.  There’s an added goofy keyboard bit which adds nothing and distracts from any remaining good parts of the song.  The final rant’s intensity is stripped, which makes it completely pointless.  Just… wow…  I have no idea what producer David Newfeld was thinking here.  Whatever it was, was just completely wrong.

Arbitrary song of the day: Vampire Weekend – A-Punk

A few song reviews

Here are a couple of song reviews.  While both are catchy indie songs, one is sarcastic and the other unabashedly elated.

MGMT – “Time to Pretend”

“Time to Pretend” is a grab bag of intentionally lo-fi sounds.  Squealing synthesizers, a growling two-note melody, and fuzzed-up drum section cultivate a finely tuned DYI-feel.  The music video emulates these same characteristics by using cheap special effects coupled with psychedelic imagery.  The lyrics, an extended jab at the rockstar lifestyle, either match or counter the music – I’m not quite sure which.

What makes the track for me is the aforementioned two-note growl.  The simplicity mixed with the so-cheap-it’s-expensive depth of the sound is quality stuff.

The thing that stops me from being too excited about this interesting duo is that there other songs don’t explore similar territory.  For example, “Electric Feel” is pure disco-revival.  In fact, a lot of their stuff in general, like “The Youth” and “Weekend War”, borrows from 70s pop.  This isn’t inherently bad, it’s just (1) not my cuppa and (2) I think it prevents them from coming up with more startlingly new ideas like those in “Time to Pretend”.

Los Campesinos! – “You! Me! Dancing!”

The heavily exclaimed “You! Me! Dancing!” was originally released on Los Campesinos!’s 2007 EP and re-released in a slightly different form for their 2008 debut album.  I will be discussing the former version.  First, the buildup: the gentle electric guitar starts off strumming a few idle chords until it sticks on one while increasing in tempo.  The rising distortion coupled with the early kick drum entrance creates a fantastic contrast as the distorted guitars drop out, leaving a pure riff/4-4 bass drum combo.  After the entire incredibly catchy guitar riff phrase completes, it’s joined by the bass line, adding depth and minimizing redundancy.  The song finally heads into full gear around 1:30, as the song gains its full rhythmic and melodic depth.  The tinkly xylophone (or whatever it is) adds a touch of whimsy in a Baroque-pop sort of way.

The lyrics are incredibly joyous – a self-acknowledging celebration of innocense and escape.  All sung in a thick Welsh accent.  The refrain of “if there’s one thing I could never confess/it’s that I can’t dance a single step” (especially when briefly sung in duet form) accentuates the sweetness and naivete of the song.

Even at around 6.5 minutes, “You! Me! Dancing” does not for a moment feel long.

FYI, I can be followed at Last.fm: here .

Arbitrary song of the day: Editors – Colours

Ok, sooo…

I haven’t posted in awhile, but I want to put down some thoughts on the baseball offseason, make a couple film (including Schizopolis) and music notes (including Los Campesinos! – You!  Me!  Dancing!), and continue my Adult Swim series.  Hopefully this will happen this week.
Also, I must say in case anyone hasn’t heard them yet, these couple of tunes are rather good *wink* : link.

Belated congrats to Rob Neyer (ESPN.com’s most prolific writer) and Keith Law (possibly the most interesting baseball writer out there) on getting admitted to the BBWAA.

Arbitrary song of the day: Burial – Southern Comfort