Top 20 Mystery Science Theater 3000 Episodes

The return of Beavis and Butt-Head got me thinking how plausible a Mystery Science Theater 3000 resurrection would be.  Obviously MST3k is a much smaller (though arguably more passionate) cult classic but they both riff on the bizarre bits of popular culture.  MST3k was pretty cheap to produce; most of the budget would likely go towards licensing the films themselves.  Film licensing would likely be much greater than the Comedy Central and Sci-Fi Channel years for a couple reasons.  First, whatever network would probably want to get more recent and heard-of movies.  I can’t see a respectable network greenlighting two hours for riffing on a random black and white Roger Corman movie.  Second, the network would want a longer term license than the old episodes got.  The old expired licenses have made releasing DVDs a pain and syndication possibilities nonexistent.

This would never happen of course.  It’s fun to imagine though, especially in a time when we have seen Beavis and Butt-Head resurrected and acclaimed (but low-rated) Louie produced for dirt-cheap.  Anyways, we can still enjoy RiffTrax and other MST3k spiritual reincarnates.

In any case, I enjoy lists, so here’s a list of my 20 favorite MST3k episodes.  As you can tell, I’m a Mike guy.

1. Squirm (short: A Case of Spring Fever) — Squirm is a fantastic episode in itself, but the fact that it’s paired with the best MST3k short really puts it over the top.  It kind of blew my mind to see that they actually referenced Springs as early as season 3 with Crow as “Willy the Waffle”.
2. Hobgoblins — Hobgoblins is a fun film in itself.  It’s pure 80s nonsense that was probably a blast to film.
3. The Deadly Bees – The best part is the inexplicable ending.
4. Time Chasers – “Chinderwear” jokes are never not funny.
5. Jack Frost – This Soviet fairytale is probably the most bizarre MST3k film.
6. The Screaming Skull (short: Robot Rumpus)
7. Werewolf – The “Where Oh Werewolf” song is a highlight.  Also, “Wer-wilf” – courtesy of a cast that seems to have learned their lines phonetically.
8. Space Mutiny – The Many Names of David Ryder.
9. Mitchell – My favorite Joel-era episode.  I kind of like Joe Don Baker, see also Final Justice.
10. Parts: The Clonus Horror – Parts is entirely watchable with Dick Sargent and Peter Graves.  In fact, The Island basically took this premise and make it slightly more of an actual film.


Is his office in a branch library?

11. Overdrawn at the Memory Bank – The absurd lines of Overdrawn manage to sound even more ridiculous when coming out of actual actor Raúl Juliá.
12. Soultaker – 90 minutes of Joe Estevez jokes?  Yes, please.
13. The Space Children (short: Century 21 Calling) – The short is a gem and I’m a sucker for old “technology of the future!” infomercials.
14. The Mole People – John Agar is the perfect B-movie protagonist to make fun of.  See also: Revenge of the Creature.
15. Riding With Death – The two barely connected TV episodes smushed together to make a film combined with the Ben Murphy/turkeys running gag makes this one an underrated gem.  My patent papers are at a slight angle, Sam!
16. Diabolik
17. The Pumaman – The rear-projection in The Pumaman might be the funniest special effect of an MST’d movie.  Pumaman he flies like a moron!
18. Invasion of the Neptune Men – Terrible adult voice actors voicing Japanese children can’t help but be hilarious.  Also, a special guest appearance from Krankor!
19. It Lives by Night
20. The Touch of a Satan – This has one of my favorite bewildering lines of movie dialog (second is probably “Sargassum… weed of deceit!”).

Almost all MST3k episodes are available on Youtube, so head over there if you want to sample some of the Satellite of Love’s wares.  Keep circulating the tapes!

Arbitrary song of the day: Caribou – Yeti

The Correct 2011 Emmy Comedy Nominations

Ron Swanson looks on in stern disapproval.

Nobody actually cares about or respects the Emmys (or Oscars or Grammys).  I could now write some caveats about how they are inconsistent, how they sometimes get it right and mostly get it wrong, but instead I’ll just say that The Wire was nominated for a total of two Emmys and we’ll leave it at that.  I didn’t watch enough of the drama entrants in question and I’m not going to pretend that I did either (unlike the Emmy voters – zing!) in order to render judgments on that side of the ballot.  We’ll just stick to the Comedy categories.

So, here are my nominations for the 2010-2011 Emmys.  For this exercise, I’m playing by the same rules as the Emmys, eg. whatever category an actor chooses to nominate themselves in is what they get considered as.  So, since Rob Lowe thinks he’s a Parks & Recreation lead, he doesn’t get a shot at the supporting category.  Additionally, I’m not putting a quota on any of the categories, but I’ll be around approximately the number nominated by ATAS.  All my nominees are listed in alphabetical order with my winner in bold.

Outstanding Comedy Series

• Archer
• Community
• Cougar Town
• It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia
• Louie
• Parks & Recreation

There were a lot of worthy candidates for this list, including the uproarious Childrens Hospital which just misses the cut, though it possesses the highest laughs/minute ratio of any show on television.  While Community and Louie delivered some of the most memorable moments of the year, Parks & Recreation took it into peak Simpsons territory, getting close to Arrested Development country.  I’d put this season of P&R against the best seasons of The Office any day.  Cougar Town of course wins most improved.

Lead Actor in a Comedy Series

• Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock
• Steve Carell, The Office
• Louis C.K., Louie
• Bill Hader, Saturday Night Live
• Glenn Howerton, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia
• Joel McHale, Community

Alec Baldwin is reigning king of this category, but it’s more than possible that Steve Carell will actually win his first Emmy.  Bill Hader has without a doubt been the MVP of SNL.  Even with dubious at best writing, Hader has kept SNL watchable even when Kristen Wiig’s irritating characters threaten to take over.  Glenn Howerton of It’s Always Sunny gets the nomination as he was just fantastic as Dennis at his most sleazy in “The Gang Buys a Boat”.

Lead Actress in a Comedy Series

• Tina Fey, 30 Rock
• Patricia Heaton, The Middle
• Mary Louise Parker, Weeds
• Amy Poehler, Parks & Recreation

Weeds improved after a forgettable year in Mexico and while most of the comedic focus lies elsewhere, Parker provided a good mix of being likable and contemptible.  Amy Poehler’s loopy turn in “Flu Season” was a high point in comedy this season though.

Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series

• Ty Burrell, Modern Family
• Charlie Day, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia
• Donald Glover, Community
• Justin Kirk, Weeds
• Danny Pudi, Community
• Nick Offerman, Parks & Recreation

If the Emmy voters paid any attention, this award would be a walk in the park for Ron Swanson.  While I thought Modern Family fell off a lot this year in the writing department, actor and Reggie Cleveland All-Star Ty Burrell continued to be able to carry most of the Phil-heavy episodes.  Weeds is probably a bit over-represented in these awards, as it hasn’t been a great show for a couple years, but Justin Kirk as Andy Botwin basically kept this show in the “Comedy” category by himself.  Glover and Pudi have some of the best chemistry on television and I’m glad Offerman made it easy so I don’t have to choose between them.  It’s kind of criminal that I didn’t manage to squeeze Chris Pratt in here somehow.

Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series

• Alison Brie, Community
• Busy Phillips, Cougar Town
• Aubrey Plaza, Parks & Recreation
• Kaitlin Olson, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia
• Amy Ryan, The Office
• Sofia Vergara, Modern Family

Alison Brie got upgraded to more of a comedic role this year in Community and broke out as Annie.  Aubrey Plaza continued to be great as April while adding more heart to the role.  Busy Phillips gets the win though for consistently bringing the funny as well as adding empathy where you wouldn’t expect it.

Guest Actor in a Comedy Series

• Will Arnett, “Plan B”, 30 Rock
• Jim Carrey, Saturday Night Live
• Sam Lloyd, “Something Good Coming”, Cougar Town
• Rob Lowe, “Lawyers, Guns and Money”, Californication

Congratulations, Rob Lowe, you get an award!  As a guest actor!  But seriously, he was fantastic as actor/lunatic Eddie Nero bringing an insane energy to his scenes in Californication.

Guest Actress in a Comedy Series

• Tina Fey, Saturday Night Live
• Megan Mullally, “Ron & Tammy: Part Two”, Parks & Recreation
  
• Betty White, “Anthropology 101″, Community

It’s difficult to turn down Mullally, but you cannot hope to contain Betty White.

Animated Program

• Archer, “Pipeline Fever”
• Community, “Abed’s Uncontrollable Christmas”
• Futurama, “The Late Philip J. Fry”
• South Park, “Crack Baby Athletic Association”

It’s been another week South Park season, but “Crack Baby” was a good mixture of Parker and Stone’s signature heavy-handed allegory and hilarity.  “The Late Philip J. Fry” is the first episode of Futurama‘s post-FOX years that I would put in the pantheon of great Futurama episodes.

Directing for a Comedy Series

• Richard Ayoade, “Critical Film Studies”, Community
• Louis C.K., “Bully”, Louie
• Paul Feig, “Goodbye Michael”, The Office
• Joe Russo, “A Fistful of Paintballs”, Community
• David Wain, “Hot Enough for You?”, Childrens Hospital

Louis C.K. did a great job throughout the first season of Louie, taking us in unexpected directions while keeping the show coherent.  “Bully” best exemplifies this, with Louis C.K. taking us on a journey through a strange date night that ends up with him at the family house of a young ne’er-do-well.  Joe Russo did a great job on the atmosphere and Western motifs of “A Fistful of Paintballs” that shows off Community‘s signature style.  But Brit comedian Ayoade takes home this one for one of the most notorious television episodes of this past season.  Such a strange episode, but he expertly pulled it off behind the camera.

Writing for a Comedy Series

• Louis C.K., Louie

I originally came up with a list that included some top episodes like Community‘s “Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design”, but there’s no way anyone should win this except Louie.

Voice-over Performance

• H. Jon Benjamin, Archer
• Eugene Mirman, Bob’s Burgers
• Kristen Schaal, Bob’s Burgers
• Jessica Walter, Archer
• Billy West, Futurama

That Brenda Strong gets nominated for her ear-stabbingly bad voice-overs on Desperate Housewives* while H. Jon Benjamin is nowhere to be found is crazy to me.  Can we just change the name of this category to the “H. Jon Benjamin Award for Excellence in Voice Acting”?

*I haven’t watched since the end of season one, but I’ll assume she’s still doing her lines like she’s reading a children’s book aloud.  Also, she is Sally Sasser and no one likes Sally Sasser.

Original Main Title Theme Music

• Hawaii 5-0
• Mr. Sunshine
• Terriers

So maybe the Hawaii 5-0‘s isn’t exactly original, but they still did a heck of a job reworking the original.  As Alan Sepinwall joked, Mr. Sunshine certainly wins the five-syllables-and-under category.  But, yeah, there’s no way Terriers shouldn’t have been nominated in this category.

Arbitrary song of the day: Benoit & Sergio – Principles

Babylon 5: Season 1 – Only the essentials, please

So, here’s the deal with the first season of Babylon 5: it isn’t very good.  Here’s the deal with seasons 2-4 (and chunks of 5): it IS very good.  There are a few problems with season 1:

• Inferior/hokey acting – Michael O’Hare’s Jeffrey Sinclair feels more suited to a a detective in a classic melodrama than a space station commander.  Sinclair’s replacement, John Sheridan, is a character with more depth played by a better actor (Bruce Boxleitner/Tron).  It would have been worse had they kept Dr. Benjamin Kyle and Laurel Takashima, though the latter can at least be partially chalked up to the notes of network execs.  In later seasons, they let Peter Jurasik and Andreas Katsulas do the heavy lifting as far as acting is concerned.
• Inferior special effects – In the show’s defense, it was 1994 with a limited budget.  They did figure out how to do better with what they had in later seasons though.  Not the made-for-TV-movies though; those are classic overreaching Sci-Fi Channel original quality effects there.
• Fewer relevant/interesting arc plots – It’s just something most incarnations of Star Trek did better (especially the partial contemporary ST:TNG) due to both the nature of the show and generally more irreverent characters.
• There are enough important plot points that you can’t just skip it entirely.

Sheridan > Sinclair, as much of a landslide as Picard over Kirk

Let’s go through the episodes one by one.  The essentials will be in bold.  I’ll do my best to avoid spoilers.

0. “The Gathering” (Pilot) – Obviously.
1. “Midnight on the Firing Line” – Essentially a second pilot.
2. Soul Hunter – Some important (but later repeated) bits about Minbari history/culture
3. Born to the Purple – Introduction of Londo’s love Adira; nice bit at the end with Ivanova
4. Infection – Almost entirely self-contained and one of the show’s cornier and weaker episodes
5. The Parliament of Dreams – Little of note, except an Emmy win for best makeup if you happen to be really into that
6. “Mind War” – Introduction of Bester, Psi-Corp plot points; not the most essential, but there’s enough here that I’d be hesitant to skip it
7. The War Prayer – Fairly typical episode from the sci-fi vein of the Arranged Marriage trope
8. “And the Sky Full of Stars” - Important Earth-Minbari war stuff
9. Deathwalker – Skippable, but I’d watch the sections of the episode with Abbut and Kosh (rule of thumb: anything with Kosh is worth watching)
10. Believers – I’m pretty sure every iteration of Star Trek has done an episode like this.  It needs someone like Picard to make it interesting and Sinclair is no Picard.
11. Survivors – Meh.
12. By Any Means Necessary – Some nice stuff here with Londo and G’Kar, so I’d watch this one, but isn’t essential
13. “Signs and Portents” – Signs AND portents?  Yes, that would qualify.  The introduction of Mr. Morden.
14. TKO – I like Ivanova’s (non-essential) half of the episode, but the other half might not be worth it
15. Grail – Not much arc stuff, even according to JMS (creator/writer J. Michael Straczynski)
16. Eyes – Non-essential, but Ivanova-heavy A-plot and fun Garibaldi/Lennier B-plot makes it a fun episode
17. “Legacies” – Not a super episode, but some necessary stuff with the Earth-Minbari war
18. “A Voice in the Wilderness: Part 1″ – Introduction of the Great Machine and a decent two parter
19. “A Voice in the Wilderness: Part 2″ – Well, you watched Part 1, you should probably watch Part 2
20. “Babylon Squared” – Lots of arc stuff going on and probably the best Season 1 episode
21. The Quality of Mercy – Introduces the alien healing machine, but nothing that won’t be recapped later in the series
22. “Chrysalis” – Season finale and probably the most essential first season episode

That’s approximately 10 hours, which sounds like the right amount to me.  Good luck with season 1, which can be found streaming for free on The WB’s website (B5‘s first few seasons ran on a Warner Brothers owned network) or along with the rest of the series on Netflix.

Arbitrary song of the day: Battles – Ice Cream

Female names in Smashing Pumpkins songs

Billy Corgan has always included a lot of female names in the songs of The Smashing Pumpkins.  I was curious as to just how many he used throughout The Smashing Pumpkins discography.  As you can see, this trend peaked in the mid/late ’90s with Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness and Adore.

Dahlia (“My Dahlia” – Light into Dark)
Tristessa (“Tristessa” – Gish)
Starla (“Starla” – I Am One Single)
June (“Bye June” – Lull EP)
Glynis (“Glynis” – No Alternative)
Justine (“1979″ – MCIS)
Ruby (“Thru the Eyes of Ruby” – MCIS)
Judy (“Stumbleine” – MCIS)
Sally (“Stumbeleine”- MCIS)
Ruby (“Stumbleine” – MCIS)
Mary (“XYU”- MCIS)
Lily (“Lily (My One and Only)” – MCIS)
Sheila (“To Sheila” – Adore)
Ava* (“Ava Adore” – Adore)
Daphne* (“Daphne Descends” – Adore)
Dusty (“The Tale of Dusty and Pistol Pete” – Adore)
Annie (“Annie-Dog” – Adore)
Martha* (“For Martha” – Adore)
Rosemary (“Summer” – Perfect Single)

*Name in track title only.

Did I miss any?

Arbitrary song of the day: El Guincho – Bombay

New musics for you

I took some time and uploaded a couple of EPs to Jamendo under CC-BY-NC-SA license.  Basically, that means you get to download it for free and distribute it as you like.

Here is a link to The Poplar EP, which I think is the one you should download and listen to first.  It’s a very small, but melodic sound – like Kompakt fed through a pop machine.  “Imagination Cake” off of it is probably the most fun track I’ve written, so check it out.  If you like that one, then try out The Birch EP.

Arbitrary song of the day: Casiotone for the Painfully Alone – I Love Creedence

Electric Six at the Grog Shop

I saw Electric Six at the Grog Shop this past Saturday.  Now, the Grog Shop consistently has their shows start late (sometimes hours), but this time we managed to time it just right.  Almost as soon as we arrived, the opening act started.  In the past, I haven’t been too impressed by many of the opening acts I’ve seen there.  I’m not sure I can justify that opinion considering I saw Los Campesinos! with opening acts The Smith Westerns and Girls, who subsequently blew up (in the indie/Pitchfork sense at least) soon after.

The first opener was Swarm of Bats – a local band with a big wall of reverb, which is something you might not think if you listened to their songs on their Myspace page.  They started with a clatter of various drum hits and guitar twangs at which point I became worried that they were an experimental band.*  But that resolved in due time to a punky stomper (after listening on their website, I believe it was “Zombies”).  Their live sound was surprisingly polished; it sounded more like a raucous shoegazing band than the projected horror clips would have you believe.

*I don’t have anything against experimental bands, but that would not be what I want for an opening act.  You don’t get to destroy my ears with random squealing unless you’re the headliner.

Next up was The Hot Rails.  I really had no idea what to expect when they took the stage, as the guitarists, bassist, and drummer all looked like your timeless rock band – could have been anywhere out of the past 30 years.  Then the lead singer lumbered on stage, drink in hand up to where two six packs of Pabst Blue Ribbon where placed on stage.  After some amusing banter, he spent the first song alternately belting out lyrics and placing his beverages in strategic places across the stage.  He was particularly charismatic and funny and the rest of the band was pretty damn skilled, too.

Improper dancing indeed...

Electric Six came on soon after.  We had staked out a pretty good spot front and center, but then douchebags happened.  About a half dozen drunk guys decided that this was the place for mosh pit, or whatever the kids call it these days.  This took me by surprise as (1) I had never seen this at the Grog Shop before and (2) Electric Six doesn’t seem very moshy to me.*  Really, it wasn’t a mosh pit.  That implies a group of many people.  You’re not really a “pit” if you’re just like five guys – you’re just douchebags.  Indeed, most of the surrounding people seemed more irritated than anything at this, including a grizzled Grog Shop employee who looked like he was going to snap and shank one of them.  Eventually, we moved off to the side and back, which felt much more comfortable next to the guy in the cardigan awkwardly “dancing” and a guy writing down the set list to post on his message board.

*Go back to your Insane Clown Posse and Slipknot.  Kthxbye.

Electric Six were fine and Dick Valentine’s enjoyment of Cleveland was obvious, including with his intimate knowledge of Cleveland area codes.  They played some new stuff and some older singles, nothing too different than their album versions.  Somehow they didn’t know the names of the opening bands.  After Electric Six finished their set, Ken Janssen “apologized” to Electric Six over the PA on behalf of The Hot Rails and Swarm of Bats for “giving their bands name”, which was hilarious.  Afterwords, we spoke with Janssen, who informed us that Electric Six had snubbed them before the show.

Anyways, I was very impressed with the opening acts and enjoyed them more than the headliner, which is absolutely the first time I’ve said that.

FYI, The Hot Rails have an album on CD Baby which I’m going to get next time I place a CD Baby order (CD Baby’s $5 sale!).  Probably when Faded Paper Figures release their next album (coming in May!).

Arbitrary song of the day: Métal Urbain – Lady Coca Cola

February 2010 Mix CD

No time for commentary this time, just a track list…

1. Kristopher Carter – Batman Beyond Theme
2. Wolfmother – Joker & the Thief
3. The Big Pink – Dominos
4. Micachu – Golden Phone
5. Ladytron – Black Cat
6. The Knife – One for You
7. Charlotte Gainsbourg -  IRM
8. The Dodos – Fools
9. Fleet Foxes – Sun It Rises
10. Le Sang Song – Everybody Sing
11. Brian Eno – St. Elmo’s Fire
12. Modest Mouse – Dashboard
13. Mike Doughty – Looking at the World from the Bottom of a Well
14. Animal Collective – Summertime Clothes
15. Underworld – Born Slippy .NUXX (short)
16. Deltron 3030 – The News
17. Gnarls Barkley – Run (I’m a Natural Disaster)
18. Fever Ray – If I Had a Heart
19. Ian Brown – Upside Down
20. Destroyer – Bay of Pigs

Arbitrary song of the day: Aphex Twin – Donkey Rhubarb

January 2010 Mix CD

1. The Ruby Suns – It’s Mwangi in Front of Me
2. Fleet Foxes – Your Protector
3. The xx – Crystalised
4. The Knife – Like a Pen
5. Yeah Yeah Yeahs – Zero
6. Discovery – Orange Shirt
7. Yelle – Tristesse/Joie
8. Polyphonic Size – Girlscout
9. Deltron 3030 – Virus
10. The Pink Noise – Wild Love
11. Lovvers – 100 Flowers
12. Tokyo Police Club – Tessellate
13. Sleater Kinney – Jumpers
14. Pony Pony Run Run – Hey You
15. Peter Bjorn and John- Nothing to Worry About
16. Tokyo Police Club – Sixties Remake
17. The Good, the Bad, & the Queen – Herculean
18. M83 – Graveyard Girl
19. Fleet Foxes – Mykonos
20. Animal Collective – What Would I Want? Sky

Unlike the past few mix CDs I’ve burned, I made this one more of a full circle.  Rather than having a beginning and end, we start off with “It’s Mwangi in Front of Me”, an unusual mix of sparse and lush, which works well coming off of the finale of “What Would I Want? Sky”.  It’s much better for when the CD loops around in the car.  The pace picks up with Fleet Foxes with “Your Protector” which is probably the closest the group gets to rocking out.

“Zero” by Yeah Yeah Yeahs is the only track of theirs I really like.  The pulsating bassline drives the track between big synthy choruses.  “Tristesse / Joie” does something similar with the track fading away and coming back with a plumper bass groove and juicy kick.  Not that the unabashedly bouncy bass in the first section of the song is anything at which to scoff.

Some songs from the 70s and 80s work in a different way than they used to.  “Girlscout” has a sound that still works as we can view it through the lens of retro and lo-fi, even though I would imagine at the time it was cutting edge and high tech.  I’ve found this same effect in Brian Eno’s Another Green World, which by today’s standards, sounds self-consciously lo-fi.  Also, one of the recurring themes in “Girlscout” sounds like the theme from The Jetsons, so we got that going on, too.

Yes, Deltron 3030 is hip hop for white people, I admit it, but there’s a lot here that works.  Dan the Automator rocks a minimal, but effective drum loop with a smattering of windchimes.  The occasional growl, arpeggio, and sci-fi sample supports the basic cyberpunk storyline.

Tokyo Police Club’s “Sixties Remake” is one of their best songs.  It’s almost entirely because of the Editors-like guitar piece in the chorus.  That might not sound like much, but for a two minute Tokyo Police Club song, it’s enough.  This band does not overstay their welcome, but I still think they could stand to add a little more spice to their non-single tracks.  For example, “Nature of the Experiment” has quite a few clever hooks to it: the bassline is catchy, the main chorus guitar riff is fantastic, and the overlapping female vocals are inspired.  If TPC wants to push the two minute barrier (not that I’m saying they should want to push that barrier), they need to have that much cleverness to sustain my interest.

I think I have a good grasp of what M83 is going for: dream-like visions of a sometimes melancholy youth, like a snapshot out of The Virgin Suicides.  That said, I think it’s difficult to listen to the graveyard girl’s actual words (“the cemetery is my home/I want to be a part of it”, “I’m 15 years old/ And I feel it’s already too late to live”) without cringing.  I get that this is probably supposed to be emo poetry that a high school freshman would write, but that doesn’t mean it’s not embarrassing to listen to.

“What Would I Want? Sky” is atmospherically two separate pieces with the second providing the enjoyable pop-vocal payoff.  However, the song is nowhere near as rewarding without the clattering, effects-driven first half.  Hearing this for the first time, it’s really surprising how this simple, catchy pop song emerges from an experimental (well, not that experimental) mishmash.  If you’ve been an Animal Collective fan for awhile, feel free to think less of me as their first album I actually enjoy listening to is Sung Tongs (2004) and my general enjoyment of their works is inversely proportional to how long ago it came out.  I can live without the pop structure, but I can’t live without any structure.

Arbitrary song of the day: Sleigh Bells – Crown on the Ground

Top 25 Films of the 2000s

As much as I struggled ordering my top albums list, the films list was even more difficult.*  This is despite being assisted by Netflix’s rating system.  Basically, I came up with a list of movies I rated 5 stars from this decade – somewhere from 35 to 45 films – and narrowed it down from there.  I felt that ranking them from 1-25 was a bit disingenuous as I could move almost all of them five spots or so and not feel like the list was worse.  So, instead of coming up with a definitive list, I’m breaking up my top 25 into three different pyramid tiers, plus my number one film.

* Despite films being longer than albums on average, I still feel that you can absorb a higher percentage of what a film has to offer on its first viewing.  Is this because I watch more films?  Is it because I am not a filmmaker, whereas I do, in fact, write music?  Am I not watching enough Alejandro Jodorowsky films and too many Jason Statham films?**

** That question was facetious – you cannot watch too many Jason Statham films.

Below is the list, starting with the bottom tier.  Each tier is in alphabetical order.
.
.

Tier 3 (15-25)

Borat (2006)
Grindhouse: Planet Terror (2007)
Knocked Up (2007)
Kontroll (2003)
Memento (2000)
Millennium Actress (2001)
Napoleon Dynamite (2004)
The Prestige (2006)
The Savages (2007)
The Science of Sleep (2006)
Sin City (2005)
Talladega Nights (2006)
.
.

Tier 2 (8-14)

The Dark Knight (2008)
Forgetting Sarah Marshall (2008)
Gladiator (2000)
In Bruges (2008)
Mulholland Dr. (2001)
Ocean’s Eleven (2001)
Spirited Away (2001)
.
.

Tier 1 (2-7)

The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou (2004)
The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (2003)
Primer (2004)
The Royal Tenenbaums (2001)
Snatch (2000)
Superbad (2007)
.
.

#1 Film

–> Amélie <–

Most unknown from top 25: Kontroll - a Hungarian comedy-thriller that you really should see

Most critically derided from top 25: probably The Life Aquatic, though I don’t think any of these movies scored below 50% on Rotten Tomatoes

Barely missing the cutoff date: Kikujiro - this was definitely a Tier 1 film and probably one of my all-time top 10.  Netflix actually had this listed as being released in 2000, but that must have been the US release date or something.

Wanted to include in top 25 but could in no way justify it: 2 Days in Paris, The Darjeeling Limited, Dan in Real Life, Last Life in the Universe

Worst film that I saw: Radio (2003) – This cliche of a film just made me angry all the way through (I was on a bus, so it was still better than the alternative of staring at my seat for 1.5 hours… barely).  Also, Die Another Day (2002) and The Family Man (2000).

Worst film that I didn’t see: Epic Movie – It’s so frustrating that these humorless, phoned-in movies make money.  Read Cracked’s takedown on this terrible series.

Most overrated: Idiocracy (2006) – While perfectly geared towards the kind of people who love to post messages about Ron Paul on Digg, this film’s premise wore out its welcome extremely quickly and was hyperbolic to the point that I found it irritating instead of funny.

Decade winner: Wes Anderson

There wasn’t too much of a contest for #1.  Since I saw Amélie years ago, it’s been in the back of my mind as my favorite film of the decade.  The Royal Tenenbaums made a late run up the chart, but nothing could top the wit and charm of Jean-Pierre Jeunet’s masterpiece.

I was pretty surprised that Gladiator was released this decade, as it feels like it has been out for ages.  For some reason, I pictured it coming out around the same time as The Matrix.  Out of all of the films on this list, Gladiator is probably the one I’ve seen the most times – mostly on lazy days in high school for some reason.

Arbitrary song of the day: Major Lazer – Pon De Floor

Posts coming soon and a few links

I’m probably going to be doing a top 25 movies of the 2000s, so keep an eye out for that.  For now, I suggest you follow this Twitter feed from everyone’s favorite SimCity 2000 advisor.

I’ve also been creating some quizzes on Sporcle.  Do you know your classic newspaper cartoons?  Try the original here and the sequel here.  Also, try a tough one about oddly named TV show characters here.

Arbitrary song of the day: Wagon Christ – Rendleshack